when will he realize that words hurt
when will he realize the stuff he says matter
when will he realize he has to change
when will he realize im not perfect and the **** he says affects me
when will he realize i want to be smart like him
when will he realize i don’t understand things like he does

everyday it’s the same thing;
“your grades ****”
“make friends”
“you’re so stupid”
“no one cares”
“you have no friends”

he’s my brother
how can he say this **** to me
we grew up together
this isn’t a joke anymore it’s not silly comments and small, innocent pranks
it hurts
it really hurts
it hurts he can’t realize that i'm not being dramatic and that this ******* kills me
does he care?
everyone says he does and eventually it will show but,
when is eventually?

i can’t take it, i can’t stand it, i can’t act like it doesn’t affect me
but i have to
i have to pretend im fine because if not i’m the one who’s being a baby
will he be like this with other people?
no, it’s me
no one gets this much **** from him everyday

what did i do to deserve this
why can’t he let me live and be happy
i've always tried and tried and tried
but no matter how hard i try,
it’s never enough

will he ever realize?