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Mar 7
It was a normal day when fate put you in my way
A gift or punishment, I'll never know
You were a revelation, a sight from heaven
At the time I had forgotten that the devil himself was an angel
And you were a perfect advocate with your skinny jeans, crop top and sneakers
So I fell hard and with no restraint
For your attention I'd endure every pain
For your love, I'd walk through the strain
I took it all in my stride all for hope
Hope that you would notice me
Hope that it would finally click that I'm the only one for you
I was wrong
Oh, how I was wrong
But like every man blinded by love and lust
From afar I could swear you knew
You knew just what to do to make me sink deeper
That extra sway in your hip when I was in the room
That mesmerized me so much I didn't notice it was for the man you'll leave with soon
That fleeting look you would throw my way
That drowned me so deep in those hazelnut eyes
I didn't see you were just looking at the mirror behind me
The way you'd brush against my arm in a crowd
Your perfume twisted, turned, tore, shred me and put me back together
But too late for me to realize you had just slipped
But how could I have noticed with the smile you leveled my way
Even now I still feel my heart pounding when I remember how you said my name
It was an innocent gesture
But for a drowning man your voice was the rope to shore
You were both my illness and my cure
I craved for you
I dreamt of you
I cried for you
I took humiliation after humiliation for you
I took you friend's jokes
I took the ribbing, I took the pokes
I took the taunts, I took the laughter
I took the leers, I took the sneers
I took the critics, I took the insults
They said I didn't deserve you
They said I never had a chance
But I brushed it all off
You know why?
Because they were only repeating why my heart told me every night
Because I knew
Lord knows I knew
I knew you were too good
I knew you were not meant for me
I knew you were never going to be mine
I knew I was just another random person in your life
But who would have blamed you for not noticing me
I was nothing big
I didn't catch the eye
I wasn't the star ball player
I wasn't the rich *******
I wasn't the celebrity
I was invisible
So I should have known something was wrong when you noticed
I should have questioned why you finally saw me
But hope is a tricky thing
And when it has planted its roots in your heart
It grows
And my hope grew indeed
Watered by your voice, your touch, your presence
In essence you were the fuel
You turned the flames in my heart into a blazing inferno
And under the shade of a palm tree when you touched your lips to mine
When you fulfilled my fantasy
I was too far gone
I was sold
And I paid for it
With my tears
With broken pieces of my heart
With the ache in my chest
With the sting in my eyes
I paid.
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