As a child I thought everything was "normal". I thought I was invisible...just a passing soul. I thought the yelling I heard was just as effective as talking. I thought the coffee cups that hit the floor were meant to shatter. I thought I was important. I thought I was smart. I thought that the separation was a vacation. I thought that the word "****" meant "I loved you" because I heard it so much. I thought it was "normal." I thought every slap or punch was a joke. I thought I was the one to be protected. I thought I was the good one. I thought the "drugs" were actually helping. I thought the bullies would stop when I broke down. I thought I had friends. I thought it was "normal." I thought **** wasn't a real thing until it happened to me. I thought I was the problem. I thought you loved me. I thought the first time I wanted to die, I really wanted to die, but now I want to live!!!