Living at my parent's house without a car or a job
it would seem I have no desires or dreams
lack of motivation and ambitions I'm just a slob
I don't care about what happens to me  
because to no longer care brings an end to anxiety
Wrong
I don't want my life to become a waste
with just a taste of happiness and what it's like
not quite sure what I'm waiting for it isn't okay
to focus on the bad as if the good was never there
can I have a meaningful purpose
Maybe
I want to try and know it's alright to fail
it happens to everyone because that's how we learn
if I die I don't want to be without the details  
about life while my mind carries on
wondering about everything
Infinitely
I really wonder what use I can be
with a mediocre mind holding a failing chance at success
there is no knowledge to leave me anything
to know better than an uneducated guess
as useless as I am
Stuck
Between life and death is inevitability happening
nothing is waiting for a cause
the present is happening now with the consent of motion
and the illusion of time surrounded by cold pitch black
barely scratching the surface with just a thought
Here
Where I am slowly fading
a small insignificance with a comprehension missing pieces
where the poison seeps in with an unquestioning belief
a challenge met with the threat of nonexistence
the true plot disappears with the illusion
Trapped
With no new beginnings and no endings
doomed to continue it's way through
showing life it is a hiccup in eternity
but it still matters essentially
to the living future past
Presently
I am here with this in mind