life was so incredibly vivid the day i was released
like a butterfly from a cocoon
i could not yet see my wings
but i knew they were there
and that they were ready.
i flew through the sky
like a shooting star.
millions made wishes on me
and i carried them each
until i was covered in tears
and desperate for rest.
but yet i cannot relax.
i sit in a bathtub and create shadows
with my body
and my hands
matching with the music i hear in my head
and your voice just keeps interrupting
a blockade to serenity
which will be my daughter’s name.
i wear a necklace from my brother each day
but i’ve learned i can live without it
even though i cannot live without you.
i’m so heavy.
i’m so desperate.
please do not be afraid of me.
don’t be ashamed.
i only want to be good enough.
and now my wings have drowned
in a basin of tears of wishes
and i don’t know how to dry off
or if i should.
all i know
is that my kisses
mean nothing
and i’m afraid
that they never will.