could lie about the past and cover it up. i know you expect the salad of truth, served fresh with intriguing dressing–the good bits that make you want more.
i know that you feel as if i hate you, secretly.
i pretend to love every aspect of you, although you're a broken pile of glass shards to me.
cutting my emotions and making me bleed tears of contrition. shame that i wasn't good enough, shame that you regret tying the knot, shame that we even met.
you're the only other person besides me that has a glimpse of heart.
at least, you care about me a little.
even if you manipulated me a trillion times to conform to your standards, even if you admonished me for not being the most beautiful, even if you belittled my existence, i can't escape the reason why i'm still staying with you:
fear of losing you.
— Melody 2/17/19
Doesn't love make us feel secure and insecure at the same time?