i guess i just liked the idea of you
holding your hand
holding my breath
holding you

i kinda still want to go to the movies though
maybe we can get bubble tea and bicker about toppings
maybe i can edge my hand over to yours, maybe.

i haven't told my friends.
you're a year 10.
i'm scared to meet your eyes.
you light up when you see me, and i'm scared.
i'm a teetering *** of water.
extinguishing a fire.

i'm scared of loving you
but i do admit
i like the idea of holding your hand
having lunch with your friends.

you know, i gave you advice
on another girl you liked





maybe i could wipe my memory and we could try again.
we could be friends.