i had an extremely difficult day, so i decided to log onto hello poetry to hopefully release any pain i was feeling or in reality cope with it. what i logged on to see made me cry, but this time today they were happy tears. 36 notifications of people appreciating my work. it's not the attention but the fact that i have been having a really hard time with everything. i have been confident for a years now, but the past two years and especially thesee last two months... i just haven't wanted to be me anymore. i have ******* up so much and have so much emotional baggage. i wrote a bit of poetry when i was younger, but started using it to cope last December in 2018. it has helped me in more ways than one. today i logged on to write that life isn't worth it and how I wanted to be numb, but seeing that maybe I have something worth it to pursue as a hobby and something relaxing in life. so thank you for everything, i didn't ever expect feeling so grateful to those on the internet :))