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Feb 3
Your frightened eyes look to me for
Solace
Comfort
Fixing
How can I hide that I’m frightened too?
Scared I’m
Too slow
Too ******
Not good enough
To fix you
Help you
Heal you.
I try to keep moving
I try keep strong
But inside I’m terrified
“What if I’m wrong?”
“What if I hurt you?”
“What if you die?”
It’ll be all my fault
When your family cries
I want to help
I want to heal
To ease the pain and fear you feel
But
I’m not enough.
I’m not enough.
I’m not enough.
My heart bleeds with you
my hands will shake
My voice comes out strong
But
You don’t see.
You don’t see.
You don’t see.
The me that goes home
Slams her whiskey
And cries herself to sleep.
I didn’t save you.
I couldn’t help.
They tell me I’m
Smart.
Strong.
Capable.
But they don’t see
The me in the mirror
The me that bleeds
Because
I’m not enough.
Not enough.
Not enough.
From the bleeding heart of a paramedic.
Lorrin
Written by
Lorrin  21/F
(21/F)   
66
   Perry
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