Wrapped in a scarf, my better half,
(Who I have never met),
Would stamp her feet and laugh.
She would say it was fresh
And that the air tingled her flesh...

...But I'm alone and old
And it's just effing cold.

I went to the barbers to get my head shaved for six quid.
She's a third my age with a kid -
Or two? Don't really know.  She talks I don't listen.
She wears thick leggings and a woolly skirt,
But common sense doesn't cover her curves, so I flirt
And she tells me I have bad breath and should brush my teeth properly.
I remind her that women are property.

In the mirror I catch that glare,
Then Delilah removes what's left of my hair.