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Apr 2019
This distance between us, I feel it killing me from the inside
Despite your reassurances everything will be okay
I still want to cry.
You're leaving me slowly, day by day.

I want him, but he isn't here
Even though he isn't you, I had hope for the future.
I wanted him, I still do
But it's hard to try when I keep thinking of you.

I keep getting caught in the in-between.

He's already said, "I love you"
Of that, I'm not entirely sure
But his lips felt better than yours ever did
And now, I'm of two worlds.

I've wanted him since he first started to speak
With those dulcet tones so deep
His smile and laugh were all too sweet
But he still remains out of reach.

I keep getting caught in the in-between.

I ridicule those who cannot choose
Despite the fact that, with this decision, I am in their shoes.
He understands me, but not like you do
I hate my brain and how it overthinks, especially when it comes to you.

I haven't heard from him in months
Over this, my heart aches
I worry that he isn't okay
For the things his parents screamed about not long ago are too worrying to say.
This is no longer relevant, the person I talk about isn’t in my life anymore, but it was too pretty to delete. Just know that this is no longer true for me, not about the unnamed β€œhe”.
Written by
Ariel  20/F
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