She blinked at me

I followed her eyes
As she scanned me
From inside out
My nerves getting the best of me
Hands shaking behind my back
Praying she wont notice
My vulnerable eyes full of
Fear, anxiety and distraught

One
She blinked at me

Two
Breathe in
Breathe out
One
Two
How
How do i breathe?
What comes after one?
Two!
Breathe in...
Two
No
What comes after breathing?

Forgotten
I have forgotten

I forgot how to count
How to breathe
How to live

She blinked at me

She blinked.
She blinked at me again.
I caught her blinking at me again!
I saw her eyes full of pain and sorrow.
Inviting
She pulled me
into the darkness.
Her room full of
solitude and despair.

One
Breathe in
Breathe
Two
Out

She keeps me.
She keeps me up at night.
With her thoughts of destruction and raucous cries.
Pleading.
Bleeding.
To let her out
To let her take control


But I'm denying
Fighting
Crawling my way out
My skin is blue
And purple
From her scratches
And punches
Clamored
With her tirade of
Failures and mess

One
Breathe in
Breathe
Just breathe
Two

She keeps me
Happy and ecstatic
I could roll over the floor
Jump
Past my balcony
Because, she
She keeps me
Chasing for excitement
My blood pumped up
With adrenalin
Like friday
Night and I'm
All clouded with
Cheap mix
Of gin and
Tonic

She keeps me
She keeps me tangled
Mangled
Inside her junk of chest
Moulding and decaying
Pieces of her skin
Wrapped
Around my neck
Broken bones
Slashing through my
Flesh

She is screaming
And wailing
To get out,
I am trembling
Taunted by her cries.
I am pleading
Meaning for her to
Stop

Hush now
It will all be fine
Once the clock hits nine
You will be back
Just in time
To dine with my
Crime

I shut her off
With my clenched fists
And twisted tongue

She grabbed me closer
And pulled my hair

She said, "This is terrible
Ugly and utterly grime"

With her words i get weak
I shrunk in defeat
Throat clumped
And eyes bleak
Folded in my knees
By the corner of the
Margin
Between sanity and disbelief

Go away, i said.
Please please
Please
I want to be
full of life
And free
I want to be me again!

She said, you are you
But i am i,
And i am taking over
Whatever is left
To be salvaged
You are feeble
With your flaccid
Belief
Of whatever feat
You call
Faith!
Walk on water
If you must
I'll let you drown
With your lies
And cries
While i have
The last laugh

Like a
double-edged sword
Her words cut my heart open
Bleeding in abandonment

She keeps blaming me
And claiming that
I
destroyed her life
That i
ripped her
Dreams off
Into oblivion
Of so much possibilities
Of starting over agains
of paths wishing to be
Explored
Of answers waiting
to be thrown in
Questions

She keeps panting
Running
Her feet throbbing
finger tips painting
The blank canvas
With more emptiness
And disregard

My wobbly knees
And fickle mind
Gave in
I plucked my ears and
Yanked my eyes out

In my deafened state
i can still hear
Her voice echoing.

With no sight
I can still see her reflection
So clear
So real in front of me



She blinked
She blinked at me again

And i
blinked at her


She
She keeps me


She
She is me.

No.
no no no no

No!

I
I am
her?!