Many have pondered life and what its purpose is. I, however, have spent more time pondering what life would be like were I not in it. Pondering purpose has never done much for me considering I am nothing more than a failure. What purpose could there be for someone like me?
I aspire to better the entire world, yet I can’t even help those closest to me. I could never meet them, so expectations are the bane of my existence. Constantly falling short, my presence is nothing but a disappointment. No matter my efforts, failure is destined.
The hand of guilt rests eternally on my shoulder. Guilt for not being able to bring happiness to the ones I love. Guilt self-directed for not being all I once dreamt of being. Guilt for being a waste of time to everyone I’ve met.
Why should someone such as myself search for purpose? Such an inquiry would only lead to further suffering. It is time I accept the truth, that truth being that I am obsolete.