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Jan 23
Your life has been hard,
It has
And you're not even seventeen yet

You've just learned to wear your hair in a ponytail,
Even though it doesn't cover your face as well

Now everyone can see that face,
That tiny little forehead,
And those eyes that aren't quite green or gray or blue,
But full of hope

Hope,
That is the color of your eyes

When you look in the mirror and hate yourself to pieces

When you wanted to grab a pair of scissors and cut off those beautiful belly rolls

And when you wanted to carve out a new shape for your nose

Ther's still hope,
In your eyes

Because that is what your made of,
and it shines through

Every time you've been broken down
Countless times

Every day on your way to school
Stepping through the gates of **** on earth

When they called you names
The sticks and stones
Staring at you in the corridor

When you got through your ninth year

When you saw your grandmother and all the safety she was die,
For the third time

When you realized that this time she wasn't coming back

When you told your dad you hated him,
And every time you realize you still do

When they crushed you
There was still hope left in you, if only the smallest grain

You always believed there would be a better day,

Even when you sunk the blade of a pocket knife into your own skin,
And you could barely see through the tears in your eyes,
And you mom cried,
And she held you,
And you said "No, you'll gett blood all over yourself"
And she screamed a little,
And there and then, at fourteen years old you thought that this,
This is rock bottom

You knew the only way out was through,
You knew

And that's why you made it,

Because no matter how sure you were that you'd given up you never really had.

That's why you,
Eleven years old,
You didn't jump ,
You didn't

No matter how hard you believed in the freedom of bones cracking,
In just a second
Floating away,

You never managed to convince yourself it would be worth it,
Because what if the sun will rise tomorrow and you will be okay?

Maybe that won't happen for another week or ten or twenty years
But it still wouldn't be wort it,

Because WHAT IF

You don't want to miss out,
You don't want to be the jinx,
Miss your whole life just because you got tired so you left early,

So instead you flew
Because you knew
You' pull trough

And you did
You bright bright ray of light
You brilliant star
Even though you are covered in scars

And that's okay,
It's okay

Now look in the mirror,
Look me in the eye,
And say after me

                            
                                ­It's okay
            
                                 You did it



                           It's over now
Claudia
Written by
Claudia  16/Two-Spirit/Stockholm
(16/Two-Spirit/Stockholm)   
299
 
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