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Jan 2019
I've painted a face far from my own
I've painted it thick enough so no one will know

It rained and it poured.
The paint dripped to the floor

I panicked and ran as far as I can.
I covered my face with both of my hands.

I didn't want anyone to see me
Even I didn't want to see who that might be

I haven't seen her in so long
Me and her, we don't get along

She's my little secret that holds all my secrets
To hide her is the only way to keep it

I make sure no one is around then I lock the bathroom door
Its time for another battle in this never ending war

I take my brush and paint over my cracks
I paint layers and layers and hope it'll stay intact.

I take a long look in the mirror
My reflection says to come nearer

I saw the person I wanted to be
I close my eyes and count to three

I was ready to put on a show
I was ready to be someone I didn't know

I walk out with the smile I drew
I am now the person everyone is used to

They don't notice I am not who I portray myself to be
Deep down, I kind of hope they'll see right through me
I've been trying to be that happy person again by pretending to be that person. Suppressing my depression isn't exactly the best option but it feels like the only option. I don't know what to do. People like me for the person I'm pretending to be.
Stxlle
Written by
Stxlle  20/F
(20/F)   
232
   Fawn
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