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Jan 12
For the past few months
My nights have been filled
With medication-fueled dreams
Often
I wake from nightmares
That leave me drenched in sweat
Lying on cast-off covers
Certain that all I fear
Has come true
But it is more fun
To think of the pleasant dreams
That hold me captive
Witness to a story
That is no longer a story
But a reality

Sometimes
I dream of landscapes:
Pools and rivers of the purest blue
Spheres, translucent and filled with ferns
Hills of evergreens green as emeralds
Clouds so light they seem to melt into the sky
Sometimes
I dream of places from my childhood:
Places where I felt safe
Safe from fear
From the frantic pace of life
From worry
From pain
Sometimes
I dream of the characters I have created
To fill my daytime fantasies
To fill my D&D campaigns
To fill the stories that live behind
Every waking moment
Coloring every experience
With ideas
Of what I should imagine next

Sometimes
I want to lie in bed forever
Immersed in these dreams
In their sights
Their smells
Their sensations
Until the world I am used to
No longer exists
When it feels instead
Like I inhabit a place
So far from reality, yet so real
So real that when I wake my memories are scattered
Jumbled in my mind like leaves after a storm
And for a moment  
I can’t tell which were already there
And which are newly fallen

Sometimes
I think
Maybe
I am going crazy
Losing my sense of direction
Caught up in this universe
Of my mind
But then I begin to wonder,
Isn’t the “real” universe
Perceived through our minds?
And if this is the case,
What is really real?
But enough of metaphysics –
Better to think of
The "real" world, with all its goods and bads
Because the danger with getting too caught up in dreams
Is that you can lose sight
Of what you know
What you have
What you are

The reality is
That you cannot hide forever
In dreams
In fantasies
In stories
For you to experience
The world we all know
You must sometimes leave the comfort
Of the world
That is only real
To you
Written by
Kat  21/F
(21/F)   
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