to think it
was love
was terribly foolish

to think it was love
was exhausting

to think it was anything more than a game
a game
only made for one
and I wasn’t made to be a player

to think
to actually think
I was more than a body

more than a body
that you took
for yourself

you took things
that never belonged to you
that were never open to you

you took them in your hands
like I took a razor in mine

sitting in the tub
tears
hitting the wounds
on my wrists
head hanging
between my legs
listening to the
slow
bang
of my heart
against my ribs
trying to
catch my breath
trying to
stop the blood
trying to
fight for my life

and yet
you were the one hurting
bleeding out
taking your last breath