I have remained impervious until now.

With your simple one-act play titled,
"a beginning",
you've stepped up and inside.
Making it perfectly clear
that no amount of world-shattering
or cage-rattling
is going to make you disappear.

And I've tried my tricks.  
Tried every tactic i have in my book
with pages so dog eared and worn
on my shelf from the last three months.

My friends and i have spent days
discussing the lengths in which I'm going to make you realize
that the way your  eyes catch sparks when I'm around
and looking into them,
will diminish after you figure out what a construction I really am.  
(When you're up for days, there really isn't much else to discuss.)

A composite.
I'm the sum of many many parts.  
And if i was to strip all of that away,
the illusion,
this hype surrounding whatever great thing it is
I'm supposedly doing/I've supposedly done,
would vanish for you.

And so I'll play stupid.
I'll play aloof.  
I'll play frigid like Mickey Mouse at Disney world,
refusing to remove their costume in full view of the children.

You seem like the type
with the capacity for the former
and an inclination to the latter,
but i wouldn't know
because I've yet to let you in far enough.

Sometimes though,
i think the word constructions you formulate
have pieces of me in them.
Pieces of me some people have never seen.  
And i wonder exactly
how penetrating your two eyes are...
eyes about which i was once whispered across the table
while you were outside smoking,
"I could fall into for days and just.  
Keep.  
Going."

And so the call is yours.  
Continuing ever closer,
my will power,
my desire to protect you from this thing called life,
can only last so long before i begin to rationalize.  
Before i begin to realize
that my hands aren't empty.  
That perhaps there is a building process.

That we could undertake.

Together.

And i start to place hope on.  
And trust in.  
You.

And I've figured out a lot.
And with this knowledge
has come a sense of disconnection.  
So i will be cool at first touch
which only gets warmer as I begin to thaw.

And maybe this is the one-act that should play itself out before i start to judge.

Because I've tried, and the feel of you continues to follow me through.

I have never seen a light move...
like yours can do to me.

So,
if you have a minute
and want the whole story...