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Dec 2018
Sometimes I wanna forget a little,
The times when your eyes locked on mine
Perhaps those stolen moments when I couldn't tell
Your boundaries seemed to blur,
We couldn't be anything more...

Sometimes I wanna forget a little,
Stop the replays running through my brain
Put an end to all of the feelings that come rushing back
But I don't know where to look.
What moment in time could I possibly erase?
I don't know what I could possibly do that would ease this pain.
There's no way to know what tiny action of yours spelled my doom
What prolonged glance, what specific touch sent me spiraling over the edge.

Sometimes I wanna forget a little.
Just a few little things.
Something to just--take away the pain.
I know I don't hurt as bad as before,
I hope I never again feel that depth of ache
But that doesn't mean everything stopped.

I see the distance in your eyes as you look away,
Something here will never be the same.
What could I do to mend this break?
What has changed?
Something will never be the same.

I want to go back to how we were before
When everything was still beautiful and new
Our long talks on the patio with the sun in the sky
Watching the birds fly overhead our little deserted place
Where no one intruded and we were at peace.

Though nothing will ever be the same, I miss it still
I remember all of the hurt you've been caused
I remember all of the small things that, together, spelled my love for you.
The way your voice could be just for me
The eyes that could see into my soul
What did you see that you didn't like?
Do you regret all of this hurt that you've caused?
Don't stop on my account, love--it is such a decadent pain.
Nothing you could do would make me go away.
No hurt would be too great.
Perhaps it's a little self-destructive--but since when did you care, anyway?
You're already doing to yourself a thousand times worse than anything I could try to replicate,
Even I don't hate myself as much as you...

Sometimes I wanna forget a little.
Stop the memories playing in my head
End the secret whispers that only I know
I don't want to know all of the insecurities beneath the muscles and pretty eyes
I don't want to know what makes you tick.
Maybe it was better when it was love from afar.

Sometimes I wanna forget a little.
Lose that caress, ignore that murmur
Stop the soft moments and end the seconds that screeched to a halt
The moments that lasted for hours but ended too fast all at once
I just wish I could forget what I've lost.
Written by
Ariel  20/F
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