Ashamed ashamed, strayed, lost and afraid
Afraid of the stares and the look on my face, the sound of my voice and the shape of my frame
There was no name to call out, no one to turn to, no future to hope in, all bridges were burned through
Ashamed, in shame, shame was my prison
All I had was myself and the sinking suspicion
that I could never be enough /my future was written…
naked, afraid, exposed and alone… alone… so weak and alone
And then in the pit, in the dark, crying out,
A voice like a blanket covered my doubts
And for a brief second I could see through the clout --
A me without blemishes, apart from rejection,
as if nothing had wilted my frail fine perfection,
as children and home and soothing all comfort…
and then sinking back in, did I even belong here?
Don’t I deserve the shame, oh shame, ashamed and unworthy
So I ran to an alter and threw my heart to mercy,
I was weeping, no wailing for freedom from hurting
But I couldn’t go back to a self with no savior,
no salve to soothe burdens or soften my anger
Then LIGHT, then form, then heart bursting rapture,
"No shame, no shame," you bellowed in laughter
And you came, you were love, it was you chasing… after...after… me?
Racked with guilt for the waste and the dirt on my skin,
you embraced me, unlocked me, invited me in
Calling life from death your words fashioned a new me,
crystal, and jasper, light dancing right through me …
No shame for my children, unashamed in my eyes
[--- twirling and buzzing unashamed but why…]
what gain is there where I had been?
What trade could fair my sorrowed sin –
more than this world, its passions and pleasure,
you lifted me to the truest of treasures
And now with the key to free dark hearts from prison
I rush back to Canaan and to find that which is hidden…
Where ear has not heard and eye has not glanced,
You shine light near the broken to give them a chance
And I, with your eyes, now see my true worth,
to sing of our lovesong renewing the Earth
Now stares cannot stop me, or whispers faze,
I am one who has captured heaven’s gaze
I invite all from shame out from Cain and the curse,
to be washed by the sight of he who loved first
We are his prizes, his treasure, and frame,
oh how he loves the shamed, lost and afraid
For a friend.