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Dec 2018
as the sun sets on the past
and night has settled in the city i was born
why must i now be stuck here
in this lonely town
here in the present?
i knew how to cope
with the wounds of the past
of an endangered childhood
i knew how to soothe and mend them
but this adult body, this woman's soul
wrecked as it is
i do not know how to repair it
when i was hurt as a child, i was alone
and over many years
navigating the darkness
by the echoes of the sounds above me
as i made myself strong, i was also alone
but when i was hurt so recently
as to still feel the barbs so fresh
november was only one year ago
and already it is leaving again
when i was hurt, then
i was not alone
but i did not know how to be hurt like that
i do not know how to let people care
i do not know how to believe
that others really love this creature
this frightened animal
pretending at humanity
i do not know how to accept the love
so readily offered to me
and to believe that my friends
would really protect me if they could
because it's never happened that way
i am always my only shield
and my only sword
i am always the only soldier
on a lonely battlefield
i am so used to being alone
that i do not know how to see
that i am not anymore
and maybe never have been
the truth is eclipsed by bruises
that swell with blood and shut my eyes
cut me like rocky, because i need to see
there are people in this world
that can love frightened animals
she is gone now
she walked this earth only months ago
there must be more out there
i just have to let them in
no one is born into this world to be alone
charley gwenn
Written by
charley gwenn  25/F
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