i usually know exactly how to start these
the poems i write when they leave
i usually know exactly how to dip the paintbrush in my tears and paint a picture forgiving myself for the pain i have felt

typically the right words flow from my fingers
but
i can't conjure up anything to ,,,,
i ******* miss you.

im not sure if this is to you or about you

you never knew but you was my rock
i aint never written out of anything but pain
off every drug in the world
and the name in my heart never change
i know you can't say the same
i know you never wanted me anyways

and **** that *****
yea the one you used to ride for
the one you'd probably die for
you may have a past with her
but i was gonna give you my future

what the **** do i even say..

you the high and the come down

i write your name in the leftover coke residue on the table then lick the powder off my fingers
swallowing back tears
humming along to your favorite songs

we was supposed to be big
you never knew that but fr
we was supposed to be big

you had me feeling like ****** sunshine
but ****
maybe i just aint shine bright enough

we both had our demons
and we knew we needed to heal before anything
but you was slaying mine one by one
and now this life i live is the hardest its ever been
and i wanna run to you
but you busy getting ****** up with your friends
or maybe you're with her
and maybe you was healing with me so you could leave and begin again
and thats ****** up
*** i could really have many men
and i got many friends
but baby aint none of them you.

i see god in your smile
and maybe thats why i sleep in the church parking lot when my mind sleeps with you