i didn’t want it to consume me
the feeling of withdrawal shakes my bones more than any substance would
this time there’s no more losing myself
i still think about it even when i shouldn’t
i’m too close to the edge to let myself topple and fall back again
i’m so sick of climbing back up, especially when now i have no ones hand to pull me back
the dopamine i used to stream between my veins is missing
i’m missing a piece of myself
i still want to feel it on the good days
i want to flush the field and start anew but
i don’t know how to
electric currents are running up and down my body
and i am not sure how to hold myself back again
i’m still not over it
i guess i was right in saying i’d never get over it