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Nov 2018
I’m starting to
lose the feeling,
I miss the times that
I took for granted.
I’ve dug a grave too
deep to escape.
It’s all like a dream, yet
I’m still wide awake.
I’m going on auto
because I’m unstable,
losing my balance.
I always hide the lie, but
I think someone found it
so I’m going on auto
until they forget about it.
There’s no good in my secret,
don’t search for the pilot.
You searched for a king
and all you got was Wyatt.

This false light I got is
starting to flicker.
Every promising life goes
out in a whimper.
I miss when things were simpler,
but were they ever simpler?
I’m never the winner,
so I need a mentor.
Stuck talking like this,
stuck living like this.
The people who know me
don’t know who this is.
I’m stuck acting like this,
hurting myself like this.
The people who know me can’t
pull me out of this.
I'm going on auto.

Everything is
looking in at me.
I can’t get away.
I can’t get away.
Everybody is
singing in harmony and
I’m still singing
out of key, out of key.

I can’t get away.
I can’t get away.
I can’t get away.
I can’t get away.

I wrote this part
when I was in the
darkest days of my life.
This is it right now,
this is the height.
I always speak in past-tense
like I’ve lived any kind of life
worth repeating all the time.
I’ve only repeated a lie.
Everyone and everything
has felt alien to me, but now
I’m realizing that in reality I’m
the one who’s been left out.
Every lie has a little truth in it,
the pain in my smile has always
been on my face by default.
When you can’t be
happy manually
you throw your life
on an auto-pilot,
and hopelessly hope
someday you will like it.
Sweeping up debris from
another catastrophe,
add another pretty line to
an awful masterpiece.
A shoulder to cry on
has never came to me
because I’ve cried enough
and now I’m completely empty
so all that’s left to do
is shrug and live with it.
I’m going on auto.
Written by
Wyatt  22/M/South Carolina
(22/M/South Carolina)   
       Fawn, ---, Carrie Crusoe and Vanessa Gatley
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