i told my mother the other day that i
have decided to be kind,
to love those
who love me (for no good reason)....
and because of, i want to take you in my arms
and hold you so tight
that the world cannot get in.
you are dressed in white, like
an angel, and
when you sleep, you murmur and
i watch, you smile,
instead of howling, and i wish
that you were that peaceful when
you are growing up, and i
watch the way you forsake your mother
and i watch the way
you puff up your chest with lies and then
cower when you see me ....
you are not innocent anymore, and i cannot
hold you to as such when
you hide behind a hood of your parents
your brother does not love me anymore,
and frankly, i do not care.
but you cannot see the stab wound, so
still, i am angry.
i don’t think she loves her best friend anymore,
i don’t think she even loves me.
but how can you tell someone to cut a
piece of themselves off when
you won’t do it for them?
when you don’t even have the right.
i read a poem today, it was about war
and it was about foxes,
i thought of you again...
you are a violence...
and a lover.
and when i remembered how you cut me,
i remembered why i have to cherish what i have.
this year, i met a girl who i didnt really like (for no reason), and the other day she overheard me telling my friend that i felt like everyone hated me. she looked at me and said "i like you." and i decided that i always need to appreciate the friends i have even if it feels like i dont have them.