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Oct 2018
This is me
I'm lost
Not literally
But also not “not literally “

I don’t know how to explain
I've always been lost
So “always” that now
I’ve stopped waiting to be found

What do you do when
being home doesn’t feel at home
being alone is no where close to peace
and being seen is seen as trouble

When you see the clattering teeth
behind every smile;
The evil red behind every eye
and the ***** in every handshake…

You stop soliciting
You stop
You want no more
You’ve had enough
But instead of stopping them
YOU stop

Because thats what you’ve always been taught

Everyday you ask
You ask yourself
If everything thats happening around you is fair
The answer?
You know its NO
But you convince yourself
that you don’t know

Even after all that you have seen

When you were ahead of everyone else in the race
and no one could match your pace
Instead of letting you win
they asked you to stop

Or like they said “Wait “
for the ones behind
Don’t lead , Always follow
Because thats what it means
To be“Kind”

You wait
For someone else to do the same for you
To have your back
To push you
To the the finish line

But in vain
You were always the last
You had to be
After all, thats humanity

Although very cliche
I will still use this phrase here
You scream on the top of your lungs
but no one can hear

You’ve forgotten your own sound
the world’s hidden from your rhythm
You’ve learnt to talk in whispers
For having a voice is forbidden

You’re burning from your own heat
Not rage just heat
From the fever that is
When you realize
Thats the only warmth you’ve ever felt

But why?
What does this mean to them you ask
Why do they keep you behind
what is going on in their mind
Why can you not be one of a kind

Why is it that you are always last
Though better than the others
You’re still an outcast
beaten and harassed

You don’t know
Maybe you’ll never know
But thats what you will have to live with
You cannot go

You’ll have to lay
Right here
Stone cold
With nothing
to hold.
#lost #sad #deep #cry #depressing #why
Ojaswee Das
Written by
Ojaswee Das  15/F/nepal
   Perry and Anna
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