Oct 2018
It’s getting colder out and I’m really excited to have less of my own time soon, I say that but it’ll probably get really old not being able to go out and do whatever I want whenever I want, although I am pretty sick of the smell of cascade hops on your breath as you tell me something about some thing about something-
I wonder if I’ll ever be in a relationship where I don’t have to sneak into the bathroom to *******.
Tomorrow marks a year of my life I’ve spent with you.
The air is getting colder and I wonder exactly how much ******* in my life I’ve romanticized. I thought about you cheating on me right when I was about to finish and it didn’t even completely ruin it for me, maybe I could turn it into a good thing. A year ago exactly you slapped me and then came, now you’ve got me flat out on the ground and you’re walking and stomping all over me instead.
I do in fact get to write an angry poem. I get to sit in my little corner and write some words nobody will ever read.
I wonder if I’ll always be laying on the bathroom floor making myself come.
I imagine each of the bathrooms-
The one on 5th street, my apartment but I guess she called it hers too, always with the light off and in the shower because I was ashamed.
A handful of times in the one on the north side, usually light on because I was home alone. The shower was running just in case. Door locked.
This one- with stains of my love leaking out each corner I turn,
my towel on the rack and my thong on the floor and our single tooth brush in the cup.
my soap in the shower and my makeup stains on the mirror and the time I got up and locked your bathroom window because your friend got robbed that way and you were scared and I wanted to make you feel safe in your home.
I’d love to leave this city. I’d love to go somewhere where the weather isn’t so bad, it really affects my moods in so many ways. I’d like to be a little bit shorter, too, smaller in general. I want to take up less space. I want to blend in but whenever I open my mouth it's always me asking to stand out.
I love you today as I did then.
I wonder if I’ll ever be in a relationship where I don’t have to sneak into the bathroom to *******.
Tomorrow marks a year of my life I’ve spent with you.
The air is getting colder and I wonder exactly how much ******* in my life I’ve romanticized. I thought about you cheating on me right when I was about to finish and it didn’t even completely ruin it for me, maybe I could turn it into a good thing. A year ago exactly you slapped me and then came, now you’ve got me flat out on the ground and you’re walking and stomping all over me instead.
I do in fact get to write an angry poem. I get to sit in my little corner and write some words nobody will ever read.
I wonder if I’ll always be laying on the bathroom floor making myself come.
I imagine each of the bathrooms-
The one on 5th street, my apartment but I guess she called it hers too, always with the light off and in the shower because I was ashamed.
A handful of times in the one on the north side, usually light on because I was home alone. The shower was running just in case. Door locked.
This one- with stains of my love leaking out each corner I turn,
my towel on the rack and my thong on the floor and our single tooth brush in the cup.
my soap in the shower and my makeup stains on the mirror and the time I got up and locked your bathroom window because your friend got robbed that way and you were scared and I wanted to make you feel safe in your home.
I’d love to leave this city. I’d love to go somewhere where the weather isn’t so bad, it really affects my moods in so many ways. I’d like to be a little bit shorter, too, smaller in general. I want to take up less space. I want to blend in but whenever I open my mouth it's always me asking to stand out.
I love you today as I did then.
