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Oct 10
Maybe you'll read this, maybe you've given up
All I can do is try

My father always told me:

"When you love someone, you feel what they feel"

I feel the pain you feel, it's crushing, and numbing

What a terrible decision to have to make

If I say nothing, nothing will change
If I say something, I know we will never get our chance to be together, but at least something will change
Even if it's not with me

I want you to find love and happiness, and to free yourself from the reigns of the past, more than I want us to try

How mortifying to have to twist the blade into the person you love
To save her

But the irony, that I feel in the wrong for trying to help you understand the pain I've felt, in the hopes that it will wake you up

Please don't let me think that this pain is for nothing
I need to believe that this is the turning point
That this is the step towards finally ending the Rivers and Roads

I understand you, fully, and that's why it is so easy for us
Today, I need you to understand me

I am not mad at you
I will never hate you
I feel no ill will towards you
But if you hate me now, I understand, I will bear it

I think you underestimate just how much I love you
You will never be a mistake to me
My love is not blind
It is pure, understanding, and forgiving
So on the nights you're not okay, I hope you reach out to me

Because I know our relationship was different
I hope our relationship was something special to you, in the same way that it was for me
And that's why I hope this is different, it's the last straw, it's the start of a new chapter in your life

And always remember...

You can't be the problem to someone who is always willing to work with you
You can't be "hard to be with" to someone who never gives up on you

I never gave up on you, even if you gave up on you

I will spend the rest of my days wondering if it was the right thing to tell you how it felt

But in a few years, when I see a wedding ring on your finger, and that perfect smile on your face

We won't say a word to each other
Maybe you will have forgotten me by then

But deep down, I'll know
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