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Oct 2018
I began the year in a familiar yet increasingly desolate place and am closing it in a new, yet somewhat beautifully familiar place both literally and metaphorically.
The center photo sums up my year in a rather cliché yet accurate manner.
I started the year with the mindset I would rid myself of all negativity.
I ended last year the same.
It all began in my mind.
I had to choose to let go.
I had to accept that  my desire to change had skyrocketed above my desire to remain the same emotionally, mentally, or physically.
I was trapped inside a chrysalis I wish had the strength to break out of 20 years ago.
However, if I had fought it I wouldn’t have crash landed at the feet of all my hopes and dreams completely and utterly incapable of fighting it any longer.
I’ve always performed as the supporting actress of my own life.
I was more hungry for acceptance by my former cast members than I was to satiate my ravenous hunger for (that once dreaded word)
C H A N G E .
In one moment , what began as a dream became a CHOICE followed by an ACTION.
I said, “Yes.”
And just like that, everything changed.
I felt sun on my once withered wings .
I’ve always been a child of the moon.
In that moment, just a moment of sun had me fighting, kicking, and screaming to break free of the bonds which once held me captive to their mental slavery.
I can’t explain this without metaphors and analogies because this year I have experienced LIFE in a way I never have and I don’t have words to describe it.
I had never allowed myself to live free .
Do we know we are free once our bonds are undone?
I didn’t.
I didn’t know until someone told me I was free.
I had struggled beneath the weight of the burdens of the girl I was told I was supposed to be.
Set yourselves and one another free.
I’m so grateful I did.
Written 12/31/17 at 11:54am
Angie Christine
Written by
Angie Christine  F/Texas
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