a strange series of events that don't make as much sense as we thought they would

i don't understand much -
i spend a lot of days obsessing about things i shouldn't
my brain running faster than an olympic gold medalist sprinting over hurdles -
diving through hoops -
of what could have been or should have been -
what could have made things different
what should have stayed the same
what unapolgetic thing did I say because I always say at least one

I need to start biting my tongue
or thinking about things that actually matter

compartmentalization, I haven't found out how to do that yet
I'm not quite sure if I ever will

save me from myself
so I can save me from you