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Sep 2018
Frank the Butcher knew his meat
no ifs or cuts about it
'Lovely day for walk!' he would call out
when his neighbours pet pig
was out and about

Watch his poor little trotters!
he would shout with a snigger
the grin on his face getting bigger and bigger
'He must love you to bits!'

Yes! Happy as a pig in mitts

His neighbour, disgusted, the very next day
shouted 'Pigs are loyal pets!
but to his dismay
Frank the Butcher looked his way
shouldering the carcass of Aunty May

The pet pig's Aunty I meant to say!

Her mouth on a meat hook
sliced down her full belly
Pet piggy was shocked!
his knees turned to jelly

'Look away luvvie! his owner said then
as there in the window was his brother Ben

The pet pig's brother that is and his cousin Ken!

Pet piggy was oinking with fear on his face
then ran like a demon far from that place
'The usual Tom? Pork sausage and spice?
'Rashers and bacon, yeah that would be nice!

The neighbour was fuming, still to this day
Frank the Butcher is heard to say
'Where's the little piggy that went on his way?'
did he wee wee home or just go astray?'

'I hear lambs make such lovely pets
'Better than dogs or a ***** old cat!'

Frank the Butcher was nasty like that....
Harriet Cleve
Written by
Harriet Cleve
   Brandon Conway
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