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Sep 2018
It started with laugher.
Laughter that tore at my stomach,
laughter that tore away my blank face
and carved a smile.
The halls listened bright and warm,
they replied back with tender echoes.

In this manic haze
an outfit was needed.
Burgundy pants
pulled from a heap of dirt.
They were almost purple,
speckled with black
bell bottom legs that open wide.

I stumbled down the stairs,
descending one after the other
with thoughts on mindfulness
each step rinsed off another layer.

Catholic guilt
****** Shame
Molestation
Drug Abuse
Innocence
Isolation
Starving
Lucidity
Drug Abuse
A rented boy
A foundling.

Free from the steps
I flow to the garden
the grass, jurassic length.
Eclipsed to a crawl,
trudging onto ancient ground
abuse laid to rest,
the darkness erupts behind the clouds,
and the stars childishly hide their light,
giggling from behind cover.

A red light creeps behind,
dreaming away from sacrifice
a haunting warmth calls.
The embers caress the senses
and sooth primal bones.

Laughter echoed again,
a taunting laugh,
the laugh of violent fathers.
In my yearning for something
greater, I would be persecuted.
Deep and slow the laugh went on,
finally a voice came through.
The voice bellowed
it was old, and smooth
my ears cowered to the sound.
I lost my language all at once,
this new speech enthralled me
so old, so wise, so pure.
It sings into the sky,
and the sky turns red in respite.
It coils like serpent,
and strikes me down,
a price to pay
for venturing to close
to the primeval altar.

Cut in two,
retreating,
defeated.
Toddling along,
stumbling back up,
Mount Sinai.
Past Gods domain
and to my room above.
Tears of dehydration
a pull of the blankets
the temptation of Yehoshua.
I cry,
then I stay silent
like I was told.
Joshua
Written by
Joshua
903
     Marcella Faye, Gabriele and gemma
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