i think i’m dying
and i don’t know if i should be scared or.. relieved maybe?
i think i’ve been waiting for this to happen
for a long time

it’s terrifying that i really don’t feel anything
i never thought i’d go back to slitting my wrists but i needed to know this was real
i needed to see blood i needed to know that i am real
i don’t know if i’m real and i think that scares me

everything seems.. distant
and i don’t know if it is because i am still so in love with her or
if it is because i swallowed too many pills but
it’s like i can’t quite reach anything

it isn’t empty yet
but i think i am
i’ve felt so empty for so long..
and i use to feel everything

and i don’t know which i prefer
at least now my head is quiet and my heart is soft
my hands still tremble
but i never expected them to stop

i think i am dying