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Sep 2018
Half a decade in
that was all I needed,
all the time it took to see
the world was an insult to me.

Was I cursed at birth
to live on the brink of death?
Trapped in this trance until
Poseidon's realm pulls me to its depths?

My pursuits to meet him have gone astray.
Countless trials that end one way:
under bright lights,
in a hospital gown,
tubes, tests, nurses pinning me down,
and a hundred voices asking me why
Why oh why did I want to die?
Well I was muting the agony,
executing my destiny,
see daylight please, it's meant to be.
You can't stop me.

And Plath said it best
I do it well,
my scars could attest.

Perhaps I'm not as strong
as my mother once thought,
by her god's design I was built-in wrong.
My own echo whispers
β€œYou never did belong”
Neither here nor there, or anywhere.

I fear I am nature's mistake.
For the hands of fate, I must partake
in this sacrifice
to begin my demise.
This shouldn't come as a surprise.

I was only five.
I thought I could survive.

Copyright Β© 2018 by S. Y. Kalindara. All rights reserved.
It's been a while. Some of my thoughts haven't changed.
s y kalindara
Written by
s y kalindara  23/F/Kuwait
(23/F/Kuwait)   
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         M R White, hannah, Elliot, Kenshō, Isabel Aghahowa and 15 others
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