you giggle and tell me she likes me
as if I hadn't known all along
I knew from the moment she saw me
when her arms comforted me
and she hushed my crying soothingly
I know I can talk to her about literature
debate politics and human rights
laugh about science fiction or philosophy
and I remember her pink boy shorts
the ones that didn't cover anything
I can still smell the warm vanilla
that gathers on the edges of her neck
how soft her skin was under my fingers
but still, I doubt my ability to
make anyone happy (including myself)
so it's better for me to seem unattainable
because this way, I can't disappoint
her, or myself (or anyone else)
I pull away from the people who like me
it's just easier this way, I often think
I will become art work, beautiful
but best admired from 40 paces away