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Sep 2018
I got really high tonight
And chose to specifically take
The time to view over my thoughts

Such a sad place:
Full of wretched self judgemental opinions
You aren’t good enough said me to me in the mirror
You’ll never be loved and you’ll never be successful
You’re only a time to time beneficial resource to the ones you thought cared about you
Nobody will ever love you for you, you either give them what they want or they’re gone
Everyone in your life will leave you eventually
You’re such a disappointment
You’re so ugly
You're crazy
She's prettier than you and has such a nice body
You're not good enough and never will be
Stop getting so attached nobody wants to stay
Hate yourself
Nobody would care if you disappeared
Why’re you even here?

Although I occasionally think about this
dark room in my head while sober
I always fake it away and try not to think about it
I never truly take the time to
think about everything gives me
sad and anxious feelings
This is depressing
I don’t wanna be in this dark room anymore

Caution!!! Bad vibes only

I try to exit this room
but the doors are locked
I CAN’T GET OUT
I try to knock down the door
With the little energy I have
After this major dark attack
I finally get to leave

Sober you knows everything will be okay
I'm never going back there again
Nap time…
Alaynah
Written by
Alaynah  19/F/Vermont
(19/F/Vermont)   
  908
     cedar, ---, Fawn and Survived
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