When the tears spring to my eyes like a salty mist
this is where I go
where I stay
All my thoughts and feelings pour out into words
bleeding and transforming that which is
untouchable
into something tangible
For though I long to scream, to shout, to cry
a small creature within holds me back
and I don't know what it is
What is this beast that slumbers inside?
I find myself an anomaly I cannot understand
and wonder if others think the same

They say I am harsh, cold, and mean
and I know, I know what I am
but something small and tender
aching and afraid
urges me to unleash my claws in a desperate attempt to
defend my heart
It is impossible to ignore, because it abides
deep in my bones
and when I was young and starry eyed
I used to tell myself it was okay
but its not
it never was
When life becomes hard, I do too
and I am sorry, ever so sorry for those who unleash
their own claws on me
for they will find a whirlwind of steely fangs and ire
bursting to the brim with ferocity

I am broken, splintered, ever so weathered
from what life has thrown at me
I see now that it isn't about
surviving
Its about living
But how can I call this living when all the softness
I used to see in this world
is gone?

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-