Depression is a disease that so many people do not understand.
Depression draws you in and makes your life awful; a living hell.
Depression makes you want to crawl under your covers on your bed, pull them over your head, and act like the world around you  doesn’t exist.
Depression is a hole that I fell into and could not get out of; Could not escape from.
I was left kicking, screaming, crying, wailing for help but staying completely still and completely silent as to not let anyone know that I was struggling; that I was suffering.
I was left screaming, screaming that my name is not Alice and this is not Wonderland. Why am I falling into this hole that is not the rabbit hole.
Why am I falling into this hole.
Why am I the one that has to suffer.
I once read in the Bible, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
But I did not feel cared for.
I did not feel God nor did I want to convince myself to believe that I did.
I was stuck falling down the rabbit hole that is my depression, meeting the Mad Hatter of which I’d like to call anxiety.
I felt so small when everyone else thought I should feel so big, so happy.
Not trapped in a jar, but in this “amazing” place that we call Earth.  
“You should be happy to be alive.”
“You should appreciate all the things that you have.”
“You should just be happy.”
I’m not happy to be alive. I do appreciate the things that I have.
I can’t “just be happy.”
It’s not that simple; stop making it out to be that way.
Depression is not an emotion.
Depression is not just something you say you have when you get sad.
Depression is a disease that so many people do not understand. Nor will they ever.