she likes to draw on her body like a permanent tattoo.
but she has to feel the pain for it result

it is not a drug,
but she finds it addictive

she knows that it needs to be stopped,
but she needs something to calm her down,
especially to calm her mind down.

;

/2.30am/
she was shaking on the last couple nights.
she can barely sleep.
her head was hurt.
her heart was beating faster than ever.

she covered her face with a pillow,
and screamed as loud as she could, in silence

;

line by line she draws
hurtfully satisfying
then she decides to draw a line on her waist
a long strong one as a reminder of selfishness.