and probably why i do not want anyone to be friends with me is that i know they can't handle me, i am always too much. i am a handful of uncontrollable messㅡshattered bones and pierced soul. because at first, they would think i got my life together, that i am the most stable person ever. then, when my veil rolls down, you'll see the horror in their eyes. they'd back up, slowly walking away from my ruins for they are afraid to touch my broken glass edges. no one's too brave to stay with me with my broken parts shown. people always leave. so as soon i have someone starting to be around me, i prepare myself for the worst, for their leaving, for my loneliness (yet again). and maybe this is why i do not want anyone to be friends with me: they'll make me grow attached to them, almost trusting them with my shattered pieces when in reality, they're afraid of it. they have always been afraid of me.
this is me trying to justify why i ghosted youㅡi was afraid, too.