I press the lit cigarette up to my lips and inhale. I felt my lungs close up not due to the smoke filling them, but due to the aching pain in my chest and the pain I have in my stomach that began in my head. It’s happening again. Over and over. My head is spinning while I’m trying to focus on my rapid breathing. I look at the lit cigarette between my shaking fingers and realize it’s already begun. Another panic attack. I try to ground myself lookin at my surroundings, searching anywhere besides the images in my own head. It isn’t working I keep repeating to myself. It isn’t working. It isn’t working. As I search my mind desperately for anything that could distract myself from feeling like I’m being swallowed up, I begin to think of him. I begin to reminisce. I found comfort thinking about his beautiful chestnut brown eyes. My hands stopped shaking when I began to think about his perfect jaw line you only see in movies. I feel myself falling deeper and deeper into this memory of him. I think about his smile, his laugh. As I dream off I begin to wake up and that is when I realized. I’m alright, it’s over. I can breathe, I’m not shaking, I’m alright. That’s also when I realized that you, are my comfort.