asleep on the walnut sofa bed, my body sprawled over yours, clinging maternally. with your mouth slightly open and your eyelids cracked, your skin tight and your hair- still short, intwined with my fingers, you pull me towards you, still half asleep. your lips touch my forehead gently, my hand now resting on your neck and my thumb on your jaw, doused in the feeling of safety, as you lightly whisper good morning. of course i say it back and you kiss me so blissfully, and you feel like the relief of finally coming home. me, still in yesterday’s t-shirt of yours, now watches you hand roll us both a cigarette- your red nails going back and forth with the cigarette paper with ease. we go in to the back garden and sit opposite each other on the small glass table by the corner and we share a lighter again. again, i watch you inhale and exhale as we drink our tea as the rain begins to fall lightly. strangely, you finish your cigarette first, and begin clearing the table for me. im still overwhelmed by everything and all of my thoughts are in my tangled mind and the words i speak do not compare to the things i think, you are exceptional and any synonym of that word also, you are rare and you are beautiful and something that can not so simply be but into words. as you get up to go back into the house, leaving me to smoke your cigarette until the filter, you kiss me and tell me you love me. i- frozen at the thought of this and overwhelmed by this, my heart races and my mind panics and my mouth blurts out a empty-headed “What?”. you dismiss it as nothing and apologise for the accident, you didn’t mean it. my heart is singing for you. i am in love with you.