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Sep 2018
This one’s for us who were never chosen—or at least forgot how that felt like
Who tried to their best to get anyone to say “yes, I’ll stay”, “yes, I’ll fight”, “yes, I choose you”
Even if it’s just for today
Or even if it’s just for a minute
I’ll take it
Because I have been craving to be someone’s exception for so long
I have transformed my house into a rehabilitation center for broken people
Who eventually tried to break me too
And now I come home to this hollow space in between my ribs
Because they drained every last drop of love I could possibly give
The funny thing is that I thought they’d fill it with theirs
But I guess they believed that we live in a world where it’s such a rare commodity that all you should ever do is take
And so I learned a lesson, and I let my heart run on temporary “I love you’s” which I take from anyone who passes by regardless of intention
And I am always deceived into thinking that maybe this one would stay
That maybe I could make this one stay
So we make up a million justifications for their doing the bare minimum which they say is their best
We magnify affection with uncertain motivations only to disregard the latter qualification
And so we’re surprised when all their words return empty
And all they leave are stained sheets and apologies
Which are really just code for broken hearts and tired lungs
Because we’ve been running a race for two which was said to be just for you

This one’s for us who have forgotten but have been chosen by the One who matters most
Who says, “Beloved, I have chosen you 2,000 years ago and I’d do it again.
I’d choose you and I still am choosing you over and over
Through your faults and your pride
And your hundred “I’ll try’s”
I know that tomorrow you’ll betray me after saying sorry tonight,
And so I’ll take as many lashes as the times you’d turn your back
You might not be the best but you are worth the fight.”
And so He stretched and raised His hands so we could raise ours a little higher
So we don’t have to guess what the standard of love is because He displayed it using His hands as paper
He didn’t just choose you once but did so a hundred million times
And for every single moment we forget
We can look down on our palms and see how whole they still are
Feel the smoothness of your back and see the absence of scars that should’ve reminded us of our wrongs
So no matter how loud the noise gets,
Take a moment to hear His voice in the silence which reminds
That you can stop giving a piece of yourself to those who are just passing by
The love He gives is not one of barter but a gift wrapped in the very cloth He was buried in
The stained sheets He will make new
The apologies you will never hear again because every word He utters shall meet you full
Beloved, we have always been an exception
His favorite creation
The ones who no matter how far, He pursued
Who ran for two in the race designed only for you
So this one’s for us—the one’s who were given the best so we never have to settle
Abby Elbambo
Written by
Abby Elbambo  Qatar/Philippines
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