The in-between of it all,
You made a home there.
Every year just waiting for fall
Because it's the only time you don't feel so

disconnected

The summer is just too hot,
You'll say.
The winter's too cold.
I hear your words but what resonates is the way you don't look me in the eyes when they leave your lips.

And I get it,
And I'm not upset
And I know what it is you're afraid of,
And it's rational.
It's always

Rational

But grey isn't a place,
It's just the mixture of two
And I want to scream that fall won't last forever

But screaming feels like winter,
And you didn't bring your coat.
And kissing tastes like summer,
Which you've explained to me is exciting at first, but always
loses
it's spark

So I lay down,
Mimicking the leaves
That let go of their branches

And it gets me thinking about whether the branches let go too

You sigh
and I feel your body brush against mine,
Closing your eyes as I turn to them

I think of a way to tell you
that oak trees are just as beautiful with or without their leaves,

But as I take a breath
i find that sleep has found you first

So I look up at the ceiling,
the white walls reminding me of snow,
and I lay there wondering
if you'll ever let me
find you
first