I have this dream:
and You
are in it.
Yes, You.

They are beautiful
and so very alive

So it must be You.

We make eye contact and suddenly we are kissing
well, we kiss
one kiss

Then I wake up
and
I want to rub the dream off me
and
avoid the thought of you

So I write and "go for a walk"
and make myself "busy"

in the end its just me hiding:
back against the wall.

Thinking of how you still you believe in me
and this makes me sick

So I go to sleep with tears on my pillow

and

there You are.

I wake up
and hang my head over the toilet