How long these empty hours between sleep and dreams And the comfort they bring Far away from my failures and shortcomings. No job No car No prospects. A broken family I seldom see. Two past felonies For breaking glass Holding me back Limiting my prospects. Off track And there are no do overs. So I'm left with lifeless days The same sad routine Drinking once a week For the sheer change of the hungover day And as the alcohol helps pass the time away. I am not living life But I am not dead. Wasting the moments Laying around in front of the TV Rewatching old series on Netflix just to occupy my mind. No one said life would be kind But at times it seems downright cruel. Trapped by foolish mistakes and self righteous acts But if you were to ask I'd say I'm doing fine. I have a roof over my head Some simple food And far too much free time. I have home furnishings Internet All the trappings of a normal life But this is not existence This is wasting. Disillusioned with society I choose to live in solitude But I am not lonely Simply alone with my regrets and the memories that torment me And the ones that make me smile while looking back to where I've been. Missing out on the lives of my children. I never thought I'd be a deadbeat But then again I never thought I'd live this long. I was doomed from the start An outsider looking in Never able to make a real connection But life goes on And I look forward to heaven And the world that sleep and dreams have opened up to me. The time when I'm truly happy, And I am not blameless in this circumstance But I am not wholly to blame. Life has a way of driving the sensitive and empathic away, Intellegince can be punishing. I see and feel the world declining and I cannot help but fall. Sometimes I wish for the end Sometimes I wish I could start it all over again and do things differently Sometimes I believe this empty soulful solitude was just my destiny But for whatever reason I am stuck here Wasting the days, Wasting away.