As i look at myself in window of this beaten down shack,
I find bags,
Brokenness,
A broken spirit lingering from what was left from the beginning.
I have seen myself many times in this window,
but never spent time to look at who i am
Or how life has affected me.

I grew weary trying to save the little girl i once was,
I wasn’t strong anymore.
I had given up years before i could count.
And i had lost myself in feelings that were unreal.
They destroyed me.
Made me who i am today.
And oh,
How i hate myself.

I let people walk all over me,
Fall for people who do not deserve me.
Yet i tell myself they are different.
That i am safe being in their presence.
Oh how i was wrong.
He tore me down and when i had thought to have something real,
It was just as fake as my smile has been since i learned to truth about this world.

A world of unforgiveness,
Sins,
A father who hates his little girl who adored him so.
A religion based on how we treat others.
I had forgotten how it felt.
Being dragged across that open room.
The blood flowing out of me.
I will never forget that day,
I saw who the man i adored and love,
Really was.
Inside.
And there was no escape from who i would become.