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Aug 2018
Sometimes I hate this
This thing that I'm born with
It causes so many unnecessary fights
It causes so many ****** problems

I can't go to a regular school
I can't have a regular job
The moment I say the word autism
I've already had enough

I don't know what the positive sides are
Of something that makes me so different
I only know the negative parts
Because that's the part that makes me conflicted

Why would I love something that has ruined my chance for a normal life?
How could I accept something that refuses my acceptance?
All they tell me is you need help
you need help, you need help, you need help

And I get help
The people who help have helped
But even though I can function better
No one can take away this internal anger

I feel inadequate, I feel dumb
I feel sad, I feel numb
I can't speak of my emotions
allthough I got feelings all the time
I wish there was a potion
that made it possible for me to speak about it in an other way than rhyme

I wish I could say what was really on my mind
I wish I could say how my autism makes me want to die
I wish I could say I love myself in any shape or form
I wish I could say that I can conform to the norm

But I can't
so I play league
And then I get mad
When they say "autistic screech"

Because it's so hilarious
Living with this everyday
Because it's so hilarious
That this will never ******* change
I have no self-acceptance.
Syv Elena
Written by
Syv Elena  23/Gender Fluid/The Netherlands
(23/Gender Fluid/The Netherlands)   
     Fawn and Buzz
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