I crave to feel less. I have such a burning desire to radiate minimal emotion. I cringe at the pain that my insides feel EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Not the muscle pulling, stomach cramping, head pounding type of pain. Not the open wound, burning, and itching type of pain.
The pain where your heart hurts, the kind where you bully yourself to tears. The kind of pain where you convince yourself that you are worth nothing.
That type of pain is anxiety. When one fear turns into such a numbing sensation and one mistake becomes a viral failure ruminating the body. Both shutting down what feels like every inch, ***** by *****. That pain is when my anxiety is my kryptonite.