I dreamt I was an apple tree
sitting lonely on a hill
Waiting for someone to pass
and eat 'til they were filled

And finally that day did come
When a pretty girl had passed
Unfortunately that girl didn't even see
an apple on the grass

She gave me one small double-take
but didn't take a fruit
So as she walked away from me
I tripped her with my roots

"That stupid *****. Don't come back!"
I yelled to the stupid *****
She got back up, scraped and bruised
I didn't give a ****

And then a little boy arrived
A lollipop in his hand
I didn't ask him to drop the candy
I made it a command

The little boy ran away in tears
Why doesn't anyone want an apple?
Until I found an old lady walking
So instinct told me to grapple

I took the hag and opened her mouth
Grabbed an apple from a branch
Bound tightly in my rooted grip
She didn't have a chance

And all of a sudden a lumberjack came
wielding an iron axe
"I just want people to eat my apples!"
This guy didn't know the facts

But he swung away at my armored trunk
Until he hit the core
I heard a crack in my spine
but I couldn't say a word

And down I went tumbling
gracefully onto the ground
So graceful that when I hit the earth
No one heard a sound

And then the people came to me
catching apples in the air
Finally they noticed me
Finally they cared

And I awoke from this random dream
and looked up at the clock
It was still early so I went back to sleep
And dreamt I was a rock